When I die

I attended a funeral this past weekend which has prompted my reflection upon my own death, which will happen,hopefully later than sooner, but which is an inevitable event that will take place in my lifetime. The man whose life we remembered was my age. He left on this earth a wife, and three children between the ages of 10 through 16. He was the father of one of Becca’s friends from school. His daughter got up and spoke at the memorial service which sent both Becca and I into many tears, which were needed and necessary. I was amazed at her composure, strength and gracious ability to share with those gathered memories of her father. It was so sad that his physical life ended here so soon. I was bothered by the evangelical pastors message that tried to bring some kind of sense to this loss, which prompted my ponderings of my death. It would have been nice, in an odd sort of way, to have left those gathered mourning, crying, sharing with each other in the non-understanding of why a life was taken so soon. Maybe the family had requested a message, maybe the father had requested such a message, I don’t know. Here is what I do know: if I die in the next 10 years, I don’t want a message preached by somebody trying to explain why this event happened – just let it be. Let those gathered mourn, cry, remember and wonder and ask why – be ok with leaving it unexplained. Please remember with much song, fond memories and stories how those gathered knew me and why they are there. If I live for a long time, there won’t need to be any sense of explanation as it’s the reality of life lived here in these bodies. I would like to be cremated. I would like, somehow, to leave money for my children (and Dave if I’ve passed before him) to take my ashes on a trip around the world: scatter me in Vancouver at English Bay, Seattle at Greenlake, Paris in Luxembourg gardens, Scotland at Loch  Loman (that’s the area my dad called home), Maui in the Pacific Ocean in front of the Mana Kai, in the bay on the look out in Sausalito, CA, and somewhere in India but I haven’t decided where yet. If my life extends beyond the present I will most likely add other places, cities, and possibly countries to this list. That is my reflection at this point.

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